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One liners

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Careca View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Careca Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: One liners
    Posted: 06 Oct 2017 at 19:30
I heard a rumor that they were giving away manure at my local farm , so i went down there to check ; it was bullsh*t.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran .


My hobby is collecting empty bottles , which sounds so much better than alcoholic .
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cwp View Drop Down
Moto GP Alien
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cwp Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Oct 2017 at 11:56
😂
born ugly what's your excuse!!
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Diablo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diablo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Oct 2017 at 12:55
I'm not saying the mother in law's fat, but when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house... biddum tish... no wait there's more..What's brown and sticky?.. A stick!..biddum tish, I thank you...I hope to die peacefully in my sleep, like my Grandpa... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.. biddum tish...Doctor doctor is it ok to have children after 35?.... No, 35 children is enough... Bought some camouflage trousers the other day, but I can't find them... biddum tish... Why did the golfer wear 3 pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one...Knock Knock.."Whose there"? "Fred".."Fred who"?... "Burt Lancaster".. biddum tish..I once farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels LOL

The only other ones I know are rude.

I think Tim Vine is the master of one liners.
Question everything.
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redratbike View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote redratbike Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Oct 2017 at 13:46
Originally posted by Diablo Diablo wrote:

it was wrong on so many levels LOL

 


www.apriliaperformance.co.uk
www.apriliaforum.co.uk
www.apriliaownersclub.co.uk
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Andy Higham View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Andy Higham Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Oct 2017 at 17:24
My apprentice is about as much use as a carpet fitters ladder
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Moto GP Alien
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cwp Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Oct 2017 at 20:12
born ugly what's your excuse!!
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Moto GP Alien
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cwp Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Oct 2017 at 20:13
Originally posted by Diablo Diablo wrote:

I'm not saying the mother in law's fat, but when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house... biddum tish... no wait there's more..What's brown and sticky?.. A stick!..biddum tish, I thank you...I hope to die peacefully in my sleep, like my Grandpa... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.. biddum tish...Doctor doctor is it ok to have children after 35?.... No, 35 children is enough... Bought some camouflage trousers the other day, but I can't find them... biddum tish... Why did the golfer wear 3 pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one...Knock Knock.."Whose there"? "Fred".."Fred who"?... "Burt Lancaster".. biddum tish..I once farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels LOL

The only other ones I know are rude.

I think Tim Vine is the master of one liners.


born ugly what's your excuse!!
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albrown001 View Drop Down
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Joined: 08 May 2013
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote albrown001 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Oct 2017 at 15:28
Horse walks in to a bar

Bar man says, why the long face?

Horse gets pissed. Falls over.

Bar man says, hey don’t leave that lying there

It’s not a lion. It’s a horse 🐎
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